Powder Room Rules

13 Sep

Dear readers! I apologize for the week of silence. I have to write when inspiration strikes, and I keep missing my windows.  Fortunately for you, the iron is hot right this second.  Today I want to talk about bathroom etiquette. Specifically the Ladies’ Room because I don’t know exactly, nor do I want to guess what misdeeds go on in the Men’s Room.

Some of you reading this know that I have serious public restroom phobias. And despite the absurdness of some of my idiosyncrasies, I believe they make me a better bathroom neighbor.  So here are a few guidelines for public restroom usage.

Sprinkle Tinkle

We’ve all heard of the Sprinkle Tinkle rule, and I’m loathe to say that too many women seem to disregard this edict.  Even worse, I have lately found tinkle around the seat in the ladies room. AROUND THE SEAT! Can someone explain to me how this happens? We are not men, we do not have to aim from a great height.  So, please be neat and wipe the seat AND wherever else your tinkle has landed.

Rule No. 2

Rule No. 2 refers to No. 2.  If your restroom is small and lacks ventilation, don’t do No. 2. It just makes things uncomfortable for everyone.  The perpetrator has to sneak out while no one’s in there, and those who come behind almost pass out from lack of oxygen. Whenever possible, please find another facility in your building.  Try the basement, or better yet wait til you get home.

Courtesy Flush

Public commodes are notorious for leaving bits of tissue behind. Although this is hardly the most egregious of trespasses, it’s the easiest to correct. On principal, I flush twice. Maybe it’s not the most eco-friendly idea, but your coworkers will appreciate the gesture.

The Golden Rule

And finally, the rule to sum them all up: Do unto others as you would have done unto you. Simple as that. Do you like standing in someone else’ pee? If you wait too long to get up from your desk and have to run to the restroom, do you really want to run into 3 different stalls before you find one that’s usable? I don’t think so.

I hope these tips have been instructive. I’m considering printing this and posting this in the restroom here, but that might be well received.

Happy Monday!

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